


no one visits anymore

by sicklikewinter



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, M/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 06:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sicklikewinter/pseuds/sicklikewinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you try to heal, you really do.<br/>(it's not working)</p>
            </blockquote>





	no one visits anymore

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know what im doing with this  
> oh no

Her eyes are soft as she speaks, and you don’t want to  _hear_  any of it. She brushes your hair down gently, and there’s the feeling of wanting to shove her from the couch and out of your apartment. 

(you dont need her sympathy, despite her being your sister you dont you dont  ** _you dont_** )

“John.. please you should try to get out more; without those headphones and your mixed tapes! You haven’t been out, properly might I add, in forever!” Jade’s voice is loud and echoing in your ears, but you focus only on the memories of a shouting boy who hated to shout. 

(“JOHN I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN YOUR DUMB FUCKING MUG!” “What was that Karkat? I can’t hear you over your shouting!!”)

You sigh heavily, and she echoes you with her own sigh. The silence that stretches between the two of you makes you want to pull on the headphones that rest around you neck and turn on the tape player. Sitting up from your position, head lying in Jade’s lap as your legs lay propped up on the couch arm, you look at her and smile; weakly. 

“I’ll be fine Jade! Honest!!” you try to inject as much peppiness into the statement, but it comes out forced; and Jade looks at you. You bite your lip before standing up and putting the headphones over your ears. She looks indignant, and stands up to start shouting at you; but you don’t let her—you’re pushing her from the apartment and she looks so crestfallen and so hurt—you ignore the looks as you hit ‘play’ and your ears are flooded with music. 

“John!! Don’t you dare ignore me with Karkat’s music you big dumb butt!” 

Her voice throws you off slightly, but you manage to shove her out of your apartment with a simple, “I’m fine Jade!!” and the slam-click-latch of the apartment door. You can hear her muffledly shout through the music playing in your headphones, and when everything is nothing but the music Karkat chose for you; you turn around and lean against the door. 

(you miss him so much it hasnt been that long but it has and it still hurts it hurts  _it hurts_ )

The door is cold as you lean against it, but the music in your ears warms your bones; and you think of a boy with a black rat’s nest and a grouchy attitude that made you think of a wet kitten trying to be intimidating. The music in the mixed tapes he made for you are the last of the  _tangible_  items that vividly make you remember him.

Faded memories and photographs of the two of you only do so much, and it hurts when you realize it’s becoming harder and harder to remember Karkat without the aid of his mixed tapes. You slide down the door and curl into a small ball.

It still hurts, despite the time, and all you want is for it to  _stop_.

**Author's Note:**

> i suck at tagging wow  
> im sorry


End file.
